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Hi, this is Alexis Levi and I just wanted to show you how quickly I can transform a book just by picking it up and reading it. So I want you to hear it. It's a new york times bestseller by john Bradshaw and it's called The Family. It's based on the critically acclaimed, nationally televised PBS series, a new way of creating solid self esteem. It's sold over a million copies and I know it's hard to choose which person you want to work with on this platform, but what I want you to know is if you give me an opportunity, I'm going to do the best that I can do. Um as you see in my bio, I've been doing public speaking and talking for a long time, so I would love to help you, but just to give you a quick idea of how I can pick up a book and transform it. Just also quickly, This is Chapter one in this book and it's called the crisis. I'm just going to read a couple of pages to you so that you see how quickly I can get started and get your project finished Now, the last 45 years have ushered in a new awareness about the impact of families, on the formation of solid self esteem. While we've always known that our family's influence us, we're now discovering that the influence is beyond what we had imagined. We now understand that families are dynamic social systems, having structural laws, components and rules. The most important family rules are those that determine what it means to be a human being. These rules embrace the most fundamental beliefs about raising Children. What parents believe about human life and human fulfillment governs their way of raising their Children. The way Children are parented forms, their core beliefs about themselves. Nothing could be more important. Children are any culture's greatest natural resource. The future of the world depends on our Children's conceptions of themselves. All their choices depend on their views of themselves. But a crisis exists in the family today. This crisis centers on our parenting rules and the multigenerational process by which families perpetrate these rules. Now, sickness of the soul equals shame. The parenting rules I refer to are abusive and shaming. They destroy Children's self esteem, resulting in shame. According to psychologist Gorshin Kaufman in his book, shame, shame is a sickness of the soul. It is the most poignant experience of the self by the self, whether felt in humiliation or in cowardice or in a sense of failure to cope successfully with challenge. Shame is a wound felt from the inside dividing us both from ourselves and from one another. According to Kaufman, shame is the source of most of the disturbing inner states that deny full human life. Depression, alienation. Self doubt, isolating loneliness, paranoid and schizophrenia, compulsive disorders splitting of the self perfectionism, A deep sense of inferiority inadequacy or failure. The so called borderline conditions and disorders of narcissism all result from shame. Shame is a kind of self murder. Internalized shame is characterized by a kind of psychic numbness that becomes the foundation for a kind of living death forged in the nature of our source relationships, shame conditions, every other relationship in our lives. Shame destroys self esteem. Shame and guilt. Shame is at the heart of our wound and differs greatly from the feeling of guilt. Guilt says, I've done something wrong. Shame says there is something wrong with me, guilt says I've made a mistake, Shame says I am the mistake, guilt says what I did was not good shame says I am no good. The difference is distinct and profound. Our parenting rules have not been seriously updated in years. They come from a time when monarch, you'll patriarchs ruled the day rather than democracy. The high divorce rate, violent teenage disorders, massive drug abuse and epidemic incest, eating disorders and physical battering all our evidence that something is radically wrong. The old rules no longer work. Our consciousness has changed as our view of the world has changed. Thank you so much for allowing me to just let you know how easy it is for me to pick up a book and start reading and making it sound believable. Natural and I am ready to work with you. Thank you