Sextistics documentary for TLC
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North American (General) North American (US New York, New Jersey, Bronx, Brooklyn)Transcript
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ever wondered how many different people the average American will have sex with or where 60% of all romances start? What's the total number of orgasms you can expect during their lifetime? Right? The world's shortest self help book? It would be have more sex. Would you like to know what not to do on a date? And ladies ever considered how many frogs will have to kiss before meeting your prints? Body knows whether we're attracted to somebody before brain could even register the thought. Or maybe why, when you fall in love, you fall so hard you get excited about somebody. You get high. Well, love in numbers will give you all the answers. Sex and love are coming to us all their subjects, full of startling and fascinating facts. For example, in a lifetime you'll make love for 99 days, and statistically you could fall in love a shocking seven times. If you're a guy in your twenties, you'll think about sex every 52 seconds. Something about sex right now, I'd say at least once a day, maybe 44% of you admit having had a one night stand. Love is the most important game we play because if you have four Children and I have no Children, you live on and I die out. The game of love matters. All these numbers are based on cutting edge science and statistics that can show you how your love life matches up to the rest of the nation and help you become more successful at flirting, dating, following in love and hopefully even staying in love. Take these two strangers. Let's call them Jack and Jill to average young Americans. They're in their early twenties and of course, they've been on a few dates. But really highs and lows of love, sex and romance are all in front of them on day, like most of us could do with a guiding hand down the rocky road of love. But what do they need to know? Well, let's take it one step at a time. Every one of us as we're walking down the street, is carrying around in our head on unconscious list. Ah, what we're looking for in a partner. Ah, scientists often call it your ideal mate personality concept. I simply call it your love map. All of your experiences together build this unconscious list of what we're looking for in a partner. Let's say you're just new in town and you walk into a party. You know a few people, you scan the room almost instantly. You can pick some people that are more interesting to you than others. Too old, too young, too fat, too thin, too pink, too green, too scruffy to scrub their out. So looks count on the speed at which our subconscious 10 clock someone we find attractive is not just quick. It's superhuman. Now let's say one of these dolls represents a potential date at a party. How Maney Dolls do you reckon a guy could check out by me? Just one second, two, maybe even three? Not even close. Believe it or not, a guy can check out 77 women in just one second. And don't worry, ladies. You can do it, too. And just as a baby, Hey, how's it going out? Body knows whether we're attracted to somebody before our brain could even register the thought. And how you can tell is what's called an eyebrow flesh. Now, when we see somebody that we like, our eyebrows flash up and down you can look for that. You can actually tell with this. Somebody fancies you before they even know in the cells way have evolved these extraordinary powers because finding someone to love is one of the most important things will ever dio. And spotting that someone who's look matches up to our love map is the first step. Okay, but what physical attributes really gets you going? What turns you on? I really like the line right by the hip eyes, the V muscle. You know, that muscle that cuts right here, the breasts, I would say his lower every. Okay, so we obviously have wide and varied tastes. But research has shown that there are a few physical attributes that are universal assets in the world of attraction. Take height. We all think tall equals attractive on American women Spend a staggering $8.1 billion a year on high heels. Yet ironically, statistics show that men find women who are shorter than average most appealing. But for women teller, the man, the better six feet has been proven to be the optimum, attractive height. But if like this guy, you fall short, there's always money, A salary of $368,000 a year would make him as desirable as his taller counterparts. Okay, so hide is important. But what effect his body hair have on men's attractiveness? No, no, it's not. Okay, you get that care? Actually, yeah. You're looking like Harry Mammoth. They need to kind of get that in Chek like it on the head. Not, you know, not so much. You were back here. Know that needs to be waxed. That's gross. But here is like, Yeah, absolute No, no, like, but not all. Body hair is bad. 76% of women said that chest hair could be a real turn on, but when it comes to back hair, it's a different story. 93% of women find it a really turn off. Oh, well, there's always waxing on from backs to breasts, Statistically man's favorite female body part. No surprise there. Last year, American women head over 300,000 breast enlargements, or look at it this way. Thes two piles of water. Marin's are the same volume as the silicone that American women put into their bodies not every month or even every week, but every single day coming up. Who did? Eight and how to do it successfully. How many guys your average woman kisses in a lifetime on what percentage of you have had sex in a car? Scientists have been analyzing a romantic lives for decades, and love in numbers has distilled that research into a comprehensive guide to love. Next up is the feared ritual of dating. We've got to get out of our heads that we will only meet somebody on a Friday or Saturday night when we're all dressed up in a little black dress. There are people everywhere, you know that Monday to Friday, 24 hours a day is a dating you know is dating. Time to find somebody. You just get into the habit of talking to people talking to strangers, and you could meet someone anywhere, any time. And statistically, work is the number one place to find a potential date, with 60% of all relationships starting there. Of course, bodies are also very popular pick up joints, but if, like 5% of Singleton's, you like things more formal and sad, you could always try speed dating. Then there's the Internet with just one click. You can access the 40 million Americans who are all looking for love online. But how do you make yourself stand out from such a big crowd? The first thing to do is to write a profile that has details. Don't say I'm a kind person. Say I volunteer in a soup kitchen. I teach the blind how to ski. Details, details, details. Get some good pictures of you, but make him really don't stay on the Internet. When you meet somebody on their net, go immediately out because this brain is not built to fall in love with a photograph or a profile. It is built to meet somebody in person. But beware. It's not a part time hobby. Your average Internet data looks at an amazing 2664 full profiles every year on never run out of options as 20,000 new profiles are created every day, however you tracked down a potential date, you still have to seal the deal on the next nerve racking step is asking them out. But how can you tell if they even like you? You can get a green light from body language alone without them even saying anything to you, and it's all quite literal and quite logical. Body language is it's all about Mother Nature wanting to get your body closer to their body. So obvious things like, Are they looking at you for a lot? Are they smiling at you with a physically trying to get close to you? Do they stop greening touching themselves, like how they try to make themselves look good for you Way do what's called toffee eyes, where you can literally cannot take your eyes off something. If you're in a group of people and whenever you speak, they seem to be still looking at you. That's a definite sign that they fancy men do tend to start playing with sicking around objects. If they friends, I might be having a discussion with you. But in fact, what they're thinking about is touching your breast, so our hands start leaking what we'd actually really like to dio. But even if you get all the signals, it doesn't guarantee dating success. It's been proven. The top three no nos on a date are talking too much, discussing past relationships on, of course, excessive drinking. Another area, we often mess up is where we need. For example, a woman's favorite location for a date is an Italian restaurant. Yet 53% of all first dates are at a coffee bar. Where's the romance and that? Okay, that's how we get it wrong. But what are the rules to getting it right? It's simple. If you really like someone, do something about it. Funny thing is, we have this idea that men are sexual predators, and in some ways they are in evolution terms. But in terms of dating, they're actually usually very reluctant to approach, so much sure that researchers jokingly call them the reluctant males. And what they found is that women have to send lots of clear signals before men will approach, and you think how many? It's a lot more than you think. I mean, sort of one flirtatious glance and quick smile. That's not enough. They found that women who have the greatest success send multiple signals over a very short period time, so they tend to look at the man and smile several times before that man will on. If they still fail to notice you. These days, it's a OK for the women to do the asking. But how do you give this fledgling relationship the best chance of success going out on a day? Don't go out there thinking God is it's gonna be the right one and maybe I'll end up well. I have a relationship and, you know, just go out there and just think You know what? I have no agenda. I just really hope we have a great time. There are a lot of different indicators to tell you whether or not you want someone have some sort of connection. Women tend to touch their face or play with their hair. They also tend to dip their heads in a certain way. That sort of a submissive side. One of the biggest ones to look at is something called Mirror. I lean forward. Does that person lean forward a few seconds later? If I put one arm up here, does that person do that? A few seconds later, this happened subconsciously right. I actually shy away from tough ableto try to use. This is a technique because if someone realized you're doing it, it's really creepy. But if you find that you are married one another, it's an excellent sign that there's some sort of connection, so the dates been a big hit, but how should it end? Well, statistically, Onley 48% finished with a kiss. But how many frogs do you think your average American woman kisses in her lifelong quest for Prince Charming? 10 2030? Well, it's more than you think. It's a lip smacking 79 different guys coming up a startling number of orgasms the average American can expect in a lifetime on how love literally re wires your brain in your quest to find love. You may travel a long way. On average, you could have spent 18 hours a year on Internet dating sites, gun on 60 unsuccessful days and kissed over 79 frauds in your search for Mr for Mrs Right. But when love hits, all of that is for gotten, and if you're lucky, you don't just fall in love. You fall madly in love. Your life is turned upside down. Love literally re wires your brain. There's many things that happened in the brand. When you begin to fall of, but among them we begin to see activity in a tiny little factory near the base of the brain, and this brain region begins to make dopamine, which is a natural stimulant, and then spray dopamine. Too many brain regions, but largely to the brain's reward system brain system for wanting, for seeking for goal oriented behavior. The goal. To Win Life's greatest prize, which is the right mating partner. The problem with it is that it's the same reward system that is activated when we take cocaine or heroin or any drug. So when you get excited about somebody, you get high in our society and our culture. We think this is the most important thing. We're searching for the eternal. Being madly in lust with someone is what we're all looking for. New love can be so overwhelming that it's been proven that we think about our lovers 95% of our waking hours. Everywhere you go, you are reminded of that. They're never far from your thumbs. Statistically we fall in love, a surprisingly large seven times in our lives. It's thought that the initial high can last anywhere between three months and three years. I've often thought that evolution over did it that not only romantic love but deep feelings of attachment and even the sex drive and then all of the surrounding brain systems for jealousy and envy. I think nature did overdo it, but when you think about it from a Darwinian perspective, love is the most important game we play. Because if you have four Children and I have no Children, you live on and I die out The game of love matters. And so these brain systems evolved to be so strong that we simply couldn't overlook from way Certainly don't. For over 200 years, the 14th of February has been dedicated to celebrating love and in true American style. We like to do it super size. Every year on Valentine's Day, we spend over $1 billion on candy on send over 214 million roses that is sent to our loved ones. Last year, eight million Americans set themselves a little love gift. Well, they do say loving yourself is the first step on the path to true romance. And where there's love, sex is usually hot on its heels. In fact, when guys are in their twenties, they think about it on average every 52 seconds. Yet 44% of men and women admit having had a one night stand, but some of you do hold back. 10% of Americans are still virgins on their wedding night, But for the rest of us, sex before marriage has become the norm, and 50% have even had sex in a car. That's a pretty shocking statistic, but there's one question above all others that were secretly really like answered. It is the classic. How many people have you had sex with? I've slept with two people, seven eight or 9 15 26 I think it's like 35 under 40 50 70 80. It's getting close to 100. Leave it there. Well, as you see, the numbers can vary wildly. But what we all want to know is, what is the average? How does your sexual history compare with the rest of the nation? Ladies, If each mattress equates to one lover, your total would look like this. That's an adventurous on men. Well, they claim to be a bit racier. Their average number of sexual partners is 12 and over a lifetime. That adds up to a lot of notches on the bedpost. In fact, On average, we have sex a whopping 5100 times in our lives, which should result in one very big pot of sexual pleasure. Organs is the ultimate high dopamine at its peak, so the body enjoys the high. That's why we want or gasps Oregon has feel good. So how many of these free and legal highs can you expect to have in a lifetime? Well, if each balloon represents an ******, your quota would look like ladies year pink. Gentlemen, your blue. That's 1836 for women. Ah, on rather more fulfilling 4233 sex accounts for about 1/4 of the happiness in a relationship. You know, like when they've done studies on people who are having good sex. That's about how much they portion to it. Sex is what makes you feel connected to somebody you know, if you're not having sexual friends. If a couple of having great sex, it does smooth over the rough spots. You know, if your husband's just giving you a fantastic ******, you gonna care whether they took the benzoyl on one sure fire way of securing a plentiful supply of good, healthy sex is by taking the plunge and committing to the one you love coming up hurdles of cohabiting secrets of a successful proposal. So love has sucked you in and, as yet hasn't spent you back out. Being together is all you think about. So where do you go from here once you're out of the passionate love, dopamine driven craze, obsessive compulsive, manic infatuation phase you movinto love. Yeah, you start evaluating each other potential lifetime partners and eventually make the decision that there will be a long lasting bond. So we move it to the O. There are over 27 million cohabiting couples in America today. That's an increase of 72% since 1990. But just because it's popular for couples to live together doesn't mean it's not without some unwelcome surprises, like finding out about your lover's bad habits and emotional baggage. It's these unwelcome discoveries that often lead to our first cohabiting arguments. In fact, it's been proven that 17% of those rows stem from jealousy, 34% relate to money and 24% are sparked off by cleaning or the lack of it. You know when you were dating somebody. You're not seeing them getting. You're not seeing the warts and all. You're seeing a very dressed up, glorified, pretty fired version of them. You know, you move in with somebody and suddenly you've got it. You know, it's difficult. You're gonna live with him as a friend as well as a lover. You start seeing their bad habits, you start watching TV gets lobby, it loses the gloss, and you've really got a fight to get it back again. But despite the initial hurdles, most of us are looking for long term commitment, and that means marriage. But surprisingly, 99% of women still wait for the man to ask. Most men spend weeks finding the courage to pop the question. And on average, they propose two years, 11 months and eight days after meeting their true on guys, it's worth remembering that 75% of women aren't looking for a flashy proposal. We like them low key and personal. So when do most of us get around to this life changing decision? Well, these days, the average age to get engaged is 25 for women and 27 for men. And every year, two million, 162,000 Americans say yes to the world's most romantic question way from the world's most romantic question to the world's trickiest. What do you think? Love ISS, unconditional and all encompassing when you recognize that a part of you exist in someone else. No makeup hair in the messy bun watching a movie on Saturday night. Tumultuous, insane, passionate, sexy, amazing. It's everything. For most of us, the promise to wed is the ultimate declaration of true love on the Diamond Ring could be the most cherished symbol of that love. But just how popular is it? Well, if each of these CDs of love songs represents a diamond ring given every day to ask for a woman's hand in marriage, they would look like this. That's 5000 212 diamond rings. So you see, we are still very much a nation of romantics coming up a bit of sense. Ah, whole lot of weather on the shocking truth about divorce and infidelity in the USA Today. So you found someone to love kept the fires burning and the proposal is in the bag. No. All there is to do is get married. And here's the tricky bit. Stay married and in love. What we most care about in Western society, the Swiss is what gets in trouble is we care about what you might think of his chemical of. We want that kind of Romeo and Juliet story of intense passion. What you want is not so much that high heat, which is gonna burn away. But you want the low, steady flame. You feel that desire to be with that person not simply physically, but because of who they are because of deeper things, like their values in the personality. And it's the belief that we found long term, sustainable love that propels us down the aisle way. Celebrate 44,230 weddings every weeks, which means just over 2% of the entire population are attending a wedding on any given weekend way spend a staggering $72 billion a year on them. That's the same as the entire government budget. But then again, it's supposed to be the most important day of our lives. And for the bride walking down the aisle is the most eagerly awaited moment of her wedding. But before saying, I dio let's pause and have a quick look at some of the possible hurdles in front of you. The first thing to avoid is the wedding itself going wrong. No shows are thankfully rare, but 40% of all brides do report extreme pre wedding anxiety. And with American divorce rates now heading 51% it's not that surprising. Statistics paint a sobering picture. Just over half the 66 guests at this wedding are destined to get divorced. There are two types of marriages that break up. There's the one that is sort of actively negative, and the big things look for are things like sarcasm or contempt, right? Really biting criticisms of your partner. And these couples tend to divorce fairly quickly, right in the first few years of marriage. But there's another group of couples that tend to divorce later on from more of the 15 20 year mark And what mark those couples. That's much the negative emotions, but a lack of positive emotions. But when you marry dramatically affect your chances of staying married. If you marry in your forties, there's only a 7% chance you'll get divorced if you marry in your thirties. That creeps up to a 16% failure rate. But those who marry under 30 account for a heartbreaking 77% of all divorces, which leaves just 49% of marriages that do make a go of it. They found that the most successful couples, even when they're fighting, managed to keep a remarkably high level of sort of affectionate comments to critical negative comments. The ratio is actually 5 to 1, whereas unsuccessful couples don't managed to even reach 1 to 1. They have more negative comments, and they do for every positive comment. So that's one of the keys that makes for a happy marriage. Most people want to remain intensely in love with their long term partner and one of the ways you can do it that is to do novel things together. Novelty drives up dopamine in the brain, and so go out and swim nude after dark grava one of those little petty cabs and ride through the city of the night, do something new, different novel, slightly dangerous that stimulates the brain system for dope money and can help to sustain feelings of romantic love on. Thankfully, a bit of wild and crazy love making is very much on the modern agenda, but what's the strangest place you've ever done it? A cow pasture in Spain, the Dante Museum in Italy on an airplane parking lot under a bush in Central Park on a boat, I think a movie theater or no, actually, graveyard in a tray. But even with a healthy appetite for the great outdoors, it's thought 70% of marriages experience some element of infidelity on the numbers only get worse if you're married to a high earner. Male high flyers.