\"Suicide Hotline\"

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Wes Tower

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Description

Personal note: I take clinical Depression with suicidal ideation very seriously. My own family has had to struggle with it in our lives.

This is a darkly humorous take on the trope of an automated phone service being applied in the worst possible way.

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Vocal Characteristics

Language

English

Voice Age

Young Adult (18-35)

Accents

North American (General) North American (US General American - GenAM) North American (US New England - Boston, Providence)

Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and may contain errors.
Hi. You have reached a suicide hotline. If you're depressed because a friend or lover has, don't you press one now if you're depressed because nobody loves you, press two. If you're planning to kill yourself because fire flight was cancelled, press three. If nothing we can do will change your mind and you wish to record a suicide, No press four. And please don't ramble if you wish to cheer yourself up by listening to other people's recorded suicide notes, press five. If you are using a rotary dial telephone, our services will not be able to assist you because you're a pathetic loser and you will never fit in anywhere.